Greetings, my fellow Nigerians preparing to embark on the exciting journey to the United Kingdom. As you pack your bags and make plans for a new life abroad, it's essential to remember that some things from Naija just won't cut it in the Queen's land. In this tongue-in-cheek guide, we'll explore the 10 things you should absolutely leave behind when relocating to the UK.
1. "Agbero" Negotiation Tactics: In Nigeria, we're experts at haggling and bargaining with "agberos" in the market. But in the UK, "mate," that tactic might earn you a few raised eyebrows or even a call to the authorities. Kindly let your negotiation skill stay at work when necessary.
2. "Nepa" Expectations: Your unshakable faith in NEPA's unpredictability won't serve you well in a country with a stable power supply. Forget about running a generator or memorizing the NEPA timetable; the lights stay on here.
3. "Omo Nna" Noise Levels: While our Naija parties can be legendary, the UK appreciates a bit more quiet and order. So, keep the "Omo Nna" music down; your neighbors are not interested in your latest "shaku shaku" moves at 2 a.m unless you want to be reported to the authorities.
4. "Gala" and "La casera" Diet: Bid farewell to those beloved "gala" sausages and "La casera" drinks. The UK offers a vast array of snacks and beverages that don't require a warning label for your waistline.
5. "Danfo" Survival Skills: The art of surviving the "danfo" hustle may be useful in Lagos, but in the UK, it's all about orderly queues and polite waiting. Forget about elbowing your way to the front so as to jump queues. It’s not survival of the fittest there but “survival of the earliest”. Go early to the bus or train station.
6. "Suya" Spicy Persuasion: Nigerians love their food spicy, but not everyone in the UK shares that passion. Don't be surprised if your "suya" spice stash stays untouched on foreign shores. Remember this!
7. "Gbera" Traffic Noise: The "gbera" sounds of car horns are the soundtrack of our lives in Naija, but the UK's serene streets have no room for such musical endeavors. Enjoy the peaceful silence.
8. "I Too Know" Syndrome: In Naija, we're known for our "I too know" attitude, but in the UK, it's best to listen and learn. You don't want to be that person correcting everyone's English. Just mind your business!
9. "Owambe" Fashion Extravaganza: While Nigerian attire is stunning, not every event in the UK requires "owambe" levels of dressing up. Leave the head-to-toe traditional outfits for special occasions.
10. "Area Boy" Swagger: Our "area boy" swagger might work on the Lagos streets, but in the UK,
politeness and respect are the order of the day. Drop the bravado; it won't earn you any respect.
As you set sail for the UK, remember that adaptation is key to a successful diaspora journey. Leave behind these uniquely Nigerian quirks and embrace the British way of life. Who knows, you might even find yourself saying "Cheers, mate" instead of "How far, my people?" Safe travels!
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